As far back as I can remember I’ve had a great amount self-doubt and what I would call negative noise in my head. I went years without ever addressing it or trying to find out a better way to going to overcome it. I found out that I seem to have what’s called imposter syndrome so I chose to delve into learning about it. Learning about the syndrome has been the greatest help for me to heal. However, I want to talk about what goes on in the mind when the self-doubt is triggered.
All it takes is a positive idea to come to me, something I want to do or perhaps make. The little voice comes just as quickly and tells me how wrong I am to think about such things.
What makes me think I could accomplish such amazing things?
The idea/ project won’t turn out, so why even bother?
Not to mention even if I’m to finish it and it would turn out halfway decent, no one’s even going to care or want it.
So I shouldn’t even waste my time.
What makes me think I could accomplish such amazing things?
The idea/ project won’t turn out, so why even bother?
Not to mention even if I’m to finish it and it would turn out halfway decent, no one’s even going to care or want it.
So I shouldn’t even waste my time.
It’s crazy to think but I held back my many talents because of this Phantom voice. Certain things I didn’t sell or promote because I was sure I wouldn’t succeed. I don’t remember anyone having anything negative to say to me to make me feel this way or have this type of internal voice.
Yet I persisted in my mind for most of my 28 years on this Earth. I felt it was normal and I thought the voice was right so I didn’t argue with it.
Yet I persisted in my mind for most of my 28 years on this Earth. I felt it was normal and I thought the voice was right so I didn’t argue with it.
I hate stories where people are surrounded by physical Negative Nancys. They tell them to hate themselves, that they’ll never be enough, and no one cares about them. The craziest part of all to me is that they really believe it and they hang on those words so greatly. They even let it break them down. They adopt this as their voice and they have the hardest time breaking away from it. On the outside looking in at these people I can’t understand how they could let that happen but I didn’t see how I was doing it all to myself.
The only difference between me and them is no one gave me that horrible internal voice. Typically, I chose to go against my better judgment of positive advice and for some reason, I chose to take the negative self-talk as law. It’s a terrible cycle I found out that many if not all people go through too often. It’s not talked about enough and we tend to suffer alone. The world ends up losing out on what those people were supposed to bring into the world. That person stifles their creativity and self-worth. So many songs unsung, books not written, canvas left blank, and inventions that weren’t created so they couldn’t make the world a better place.
Scrolling on Facebook the other day and a good friend of mine who’s post always speak to me caught my attention. It was a cartoon where it chronicled that little Negative Nancy monster. It reared its ugly head and attempts of crushing hopes and dreams as always. It played out much like how I explained before, but it how it was handled at the end that got me.
I love seeing an illustration on a thought process that I’m too familiar with. I like where the artist took it toward the end, the visual somehow made me see how strong I am and be when fighting that monster. It can take a lot to combat it and you may have to fight it a lot. But, it becomes easier after a while because it gets tired of getting its butt whooped.
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The same friend who posted that cartoon (who is one of the most confident people I know) told me he feels like that sometimes as well. This was a huge relief to know I wasn’t alone and he shared how he dealt with it. It is a mental fight much like how it was handled in the comic.
I had to push myself hard to fight the same way and find things that work for me as well.
I had to push myself hard to fight the same way and find things that work for me as well.
The way imposterism makes me feel like an unworthy fraud, I never could latch my mind to the compliments from others. But, for years I’ve been on and off with all the self-improvement books, affirmations, and videos I realized how I felt on top of the world when I was consistent in following my growth.
Learning and growing was the right type of distraction I needed, it made me feel like only good things could happen to me. Soon, I realized how negative and self-doubting I was when I wandered for too long without that positive noise. The best part is really learning yourself and becoming proactive about fixing your thoughts will, in turn, begin to fix other things in your life.
Learning and growing was the right type of distraction I needed, it made me feel like only good things could happen to me. Soon, I realized how negative and self-doubting I was when I wandered for too long without that positive noise. The best part is really learning yourself and becoming proactive about fixing your thoughts will, in turn, begin to fix other things in your life.
Lastly, learning to reflect on what has happened in your own life as well as your actions will help you learn what works best. This is not to say only reflect on your negative past but positive things that make you realize how things can go well or you should continue doing that particular thing for a good outcome. I often do this with my sewing. My husband would get frustrated with me when I would tell myself my designs wouldn’t turn out well he did say to me “ you always say that, then it turns out perfect. Stop complaining.”
From his words, I would start to recall about previous times where my work was a hit. He was right even though many of those times I talked crap to myself the whole time during these projects and I kept pushing. I still have to do that and it gets me through the moment. Reflection can be very helpful and also revealing. I pray my words to open you up to a different Outlook for your confidence and abilities. You are not alone and this journey, just stay consistent and work through. You’ll find things that will work for you as well.
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What helps you fight off the negative monster?
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This post was proofread by Grammarly